Assertive Kindness Meditation 08

Transcript

Today, we are moving through another loving kindness practice.

Previously, we have used this traditional Buddhist technique to cultivate kindness towards the self. And then to cultivate kindness towards a person you feel neutral towards.

This time, you’ll use loving kindness meditation, to cultivate kindness towards someone you find difficult or challenging. Someone you don’t like even if you have an instantaneous negative reaction towards this idea, take a moment you’re not actually going to involve the other person in this practice. And you don’t have to give them anything.

Instead, by drawing your imagination of them into your meditation practice, you are strengthening your inner capacity for kindness. You are working internally within yourself. You will simply use an external figure to help you do that. It’s just a tool.

So find your steady, comfortable posture. Allow yourself the time to move around until you feel steady and at ease. And then take a deep breath in through the nose and say it out through the mouth. Good. It’s time to bring that challenging person into your thoughts.

Perhaps someone immediately sprang to mind at the start of this practice. And if so, go with them. There’s no need to overthink it. Which ever person your mind can just when you’re asked to think of someone you find difficult is probably the right person to work with for this practice.

Bring them to mind. Allow them to be here and allow any thoughts and feelings that come up in relation to them to thoughts will come and emotions will come. give them permission to arrive. And then when you’re ready. Let them move on. It’s not always easy to sit still in silence with the thought of someone you dislike or who has hurt you.

So well done for being here. Now I’ll speak those five phrases to you. This time, we are gently cultivating warmth and kindness towards this difficult person. This doesn’t mean you have to do anything differently in your life or in your relationship with them.

The work here is within you. You are building your own inner capacity for kindness that might in time change the way you relate to this person. But if it doesn’t, that’s totally fine.

The practice of sitting with them and directing these phrases and thoughts towards them is acting on your state of mind and state of being.

First, all you need to do is listen. May you be safe? May you be happy. May you be resilient to the challenges of life? May you be appreciated for your positive qualities? May you be loved, regardless of your challenges or flaws?

Now I’ll speak the same phrases again. And this time I invite you to say them with me either out loud or silently in your mind. As if you are speaking directly to the person you find difficult.

May you be safe? May you be happy? May you be resilient to the challenges of life. May you be appreciated for your positive qualities. May you be loved regardless of your challenges or flaws.

We’ll do that one more time? Take a few gentle breaths first.

May you be safe? May you be happy? May you be resilient to the challenges of life. May you be appreciated for your positive qualities. May you be loved regardless of your challenges or flaws.

Well done. Let them go now. Stop holding them in your mind and direct your awareness back to your own breath. Do your own body. Notice the whole of the body steady, comfortable and safe.

Take a deep breath in through the nose and say it out through the mouth releasing any tension. Your practice is complete.

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